Preacher Ko Longkang

 

Lessons from Parenthood

Slightly less than 2 months ago, the Lord blessed us with the gift of a baby girl. With that, my wife and I entered into a new phase of life – parenthood.

 

Indeed the past 2 months have been a most wonderful, albeit hectic and at times bewildering experience for both of us. As much as we had observed our siblings go through a similar transition into parenthood, and have been at the receiving end of many invaluable sharings, encouragements and nuggets of advice, nothing could have fully prepared us for this life-changing event, whereby this life has been entrusted entirely into our care. Nonetheless, by the grace of God and with much help from our family and friends, nearly 8 weeks have gone by without any major mishap. Our earnest prayer is that the Lord will help us to raise our daughter Alethea in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

 

In the process of learning how to be parents, the Lord has also blessed with us many spiritual lessons along the way. As we were involved in seeing to the numerous needs of this newborn, various passages of Scripture came to my mind, and with these new experiences that I was having, I gained new insight into the meaning and significance of what the Word of God has to teach us. I would like to share some of these Scriptural lessons that I have learned recently.

 

Our Love for the Word

1Peter 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

There is nothing much more that a newborn does besides eating, sleeping, and needing a diaper change. Of these, the need that would illicit the greatest cry from her would be the desire to be fed. There have been times whereby in less than 5 minutes, the baby would go from being fast asleep, to giving off the most heart-wrenching cry of desperation. She simply woke up, realized that she was hungry, and began to frantically clamour for food. This is an instinct that God has in-built into every baby to help them to signal their need to be fed. Helpless as they are, the one thing that every baby would know to do would be to cry for milk. Almost like clockwork, every 2-3 hours (sometimes even less than that), we would hear the familiar squawk emanating from the cot that would very quickly escalate to a desperate cry if her need is not met.

 

As we experienced this day in and day out, this familiar verse in 1 Peter 2:2 came to mind, as Peter uses this desire of a newborn to illustrate how our spiritual desire for the Word of God ought to be. It is interesting to note that Peter specifically uses the term "newborn babes" - a phrase found nowhere else in the Bible. It literally refers to a baby who has just been born, of a child in his earliest days of infancy, not more than a few weeks old. This is the stage where the baby really knows of few other wants and needs other than the desire to be fed.

 

Peter therefore uses this commonly understood behaviour and applies it to all Christians. As we are "born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God" (1 Pet 1:23), so must we have a strong yearning and desire for this same Word of God, just like how a newborn would cry for milk.

 

The Word here is described as the sincere, or pure and unadulterated milk of the word. This is what every child of God needs to survive and grow. No mother would feed her child tainted or harmful milk. They would want only the very best for the child, and would do all they can to provide them with the best nutrition in order that the child can grow well. Likewise, that is the spiritual diet that we must seek after – the pure and perfect Word of God. Nothing else would suffice.

 

Why is this so important? Peter states simply that this is the only means whereby we can grow. This is something that is especially evident in newborns. In the short two months of her life, our daughter’s weight has increased by more than 50%. Daily, we notice changes in her appearance, as her limbs flesh out, her hair grows longer, and her cheeks get rounder and rounder. There is no other stage in our lives where we would grow more drastically than in the first weeks of our existence. Thus Peter uses this fact to highlight the need for us to yearn for the Word of God, in order that we can have an accelerated spiritual growth.

 

This is something that every Christian must realize. The only way in which we can grow in the Lord, is to spend time in His word. It cannot be just a perfunctory reading – of a quick 5 minutes in the morning, or maybe only once a week in church. It has to be a desperate yearning from within, at the same intensity as how a newborn would cry for milk.

 

Our Love for our Brethren

1Th 2:7-8 But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.

 

As I witness the tender loving manner in which my wife cares for our child, another passage that comes to mind is the passage in 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 where Paul reminded the Christians at Thessalonica of how dearly he cared for them, in the manner of how a nurse (nursing mother) would cherish her children.

 

This is what we commonly term as the mother’s maternal instinct, where they will naturally care so dearly and sacrificially for their child. It is a relationship that begins even when the baby is still in her mother’s womb. The mother has to go through 9 months of childbearing, and then endure the travail of labour just to bring the child into this world. Yet the mother has no resentment whatsoever against the child, nor does she hold any grudge against the child. Instead, she has nothing but deep love and affection for her.

 

This motherly love is also what would strengthen the mother to want to recover from her ordeal of delivery as quickly as possible so that she can see to the every need of her newborn. Though the child does nothing for her, and does little but sleep, cry and dirty herself, yet the mother selflessly cares for the child 24 hours a day, and would jump at the child’s slightest whimper. She will be willing to wake up at odd hours through the night to feed the baby, and would be ever ready to respond to the child’s every need.

 

This is the love that Paul had for the Christians at Thessalonica. Although he knew them for only a few short weeks, yet he testifies that his ministry amongst them was in the manner of how a nursing mother would cherish her children. He shares how he had a deep spiritual longing for them, because he cared spiritually for them. Because they were so dear to him, he was willing dedicate all his energy, time and efforts to ensure that they would be spiritually nourished in the Word of God.

 

Such affection is therefore what we too should learn to have for our fellow brethren. Our love must not just be limited to our blood relations, but also to the spiritual family that we have around us. Paul was able to care so deeply for them, because he understood his calling as a servant of the Lord, that his mission was to go to bring God’s Word to God’s chosen ones. Likewise we too have a service and a calling to fulfil. As we think about the love that we as parents are capable of showing to our children, we must realize that we must also extend this love to the souls around us. We ought to be ready and willing to encourage our brethren, and do what we can to mutually edify one another in the Lord.

 

God’s Love for Us

1Jn 4:9-10 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. (10) Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

 

Finally, as I reflect on the love that we as parents of our newborn have towards her, I am reminded of the great sacrifice that God the Father made, for He was willing to sacrifice His only begotten Son to die for our sins. This then becomes the prime example of what sacrificial love is, for God so loved the world, that He gave He only begotten Son to die, in order that we may not perish but have everlasting life.

 

The love that a parent would have for a child is one that knows no bounds. It is one that naturally manifests with the conception of the child, and will continue throughout his lifetime. It is one that would be willing to go through great lengths just to see to the needs and desires of the child, and may even be one whereby the parent is willing to sacrifice himself for the child’s sake. Yet it is ultimately an imperfect love, for we are still in sin.

 

When God the Father describes the relationship that He has with the second person of the Trinity, the Lord Jesus Christ, He describes it in terms of a Father-Sson relationship. It is a relationship most would be able to understand, for even if one is not a parent, he is still a child to one, and would to an extent have experienced the love from a parent. Yet we know that God the Father’s love for the Son was one that far surpassed any human love that we can have, for it was a perfect divine love. God said of Jesus, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased" (Matt 3:17).

 

To any human parent, the thought of losing a child is one that evokes a sickening dread within us. To have to be the one that deliberately brings about the death is something unthinkable, even repulsive. Yet this was the only way in which His wrath against the sin of the world could be appeased. That is what a propitiation is, it is the means whereby anger is appeased, and atonement is made. Whilst God the Father loved the Son, He was willing to send Him into the world, that sinful rebellious man might live through Him. Truly, this is a most wonderful and dramatic manifestation of the love of God toward us.

 

As I reflect on the love that I now experience for my daughter, I am reminded that the love of God towards us is far stronger than that. In light of that, John gives us two profound responses that we ought to have for that love:

 

1John 4:11 "Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another."

 

1John 4:19 "We love him, because he first loved us."