Rev Dr Quek Suan Yew

Questions Asked at Church Camp (Part 3 - final)

1. Pertaining to tattoos: Ladies do tattoo their eyebrows for neatness and easier maintenance. What is your opinion on it? Will it be viewed as appearance of evil?

REPLY – The Bible's instruction concerning tattooing or any form of marking on the body is clear. Deuteronomy 14:1 (KJV), "Ye are the children of the LORD your God: ye shall not cut yourselves, nor make any baldness between your eyes for the dead." And Leviticus 19:28 (KJV), "Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD." The injunction from God's infallible Word is strong and clear!

The question that needs to be asked is why these ladies want to do it? Most of the time, it is because of vanity! Why does one need to maintain the eyebrows? The function of the eyebrows is to divert the droplets of perspiration away from the eyes? If one had a serious accident and the face is burned badly, then perhaps under such circumstances it is understandable to tattoo the eyebrows. Otherwise, it is best is to leave them as they are.

2. How would you advise courting couples about physical intimacy?

REPLY– No physical intimacy is allowed until after marriage. The Bible's instruction is very clear. 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV), "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." There is a reason the Bible specifically targets youthful lusts! The youths are changing from boys to men and girls to women. There is also a physiological change. This changes the hormonal levels of both sexes. They become aware of the opposite sex. The danger in our world today is very obvious. The world is filled with fornicators and adulterers. The reason this is true is the promiscuous society that we are living in. Fornicators and adulterers are put on pedestals of idol worship because they are good entertainers like professional sportsmen and sportswomen, movie stars and singers. Their private life of sin and shame is ignored. Not only are they ignored but also emulated by many young people today. The standard of morality is so low to the point of extinction.

In a courtship between a Christian boy and girl, there must be absolute self control whereby intimacy is out of the question. They must take practical steps to ensure that the places they go to do not encourage any temptations. They are to "follow", i.e. to pursue after righteousness, faith, charity and peace out of a pure heart! The relationship must be pure and clean and always God honouring. To flee away from youthful lusts is not enough if we do not flee toward that which is pure and holy.

3. Can a male and female have a purely platonic friendship?

REPLY – What is a purely platonic friendship? Does it include going out alone together? Or is it only a hi-bye kind of a relationship where there is no going out alone together? It is possible for a single male and a single woman to have a purely platonic friendship if it does not involve going out alone together. If it does not involve going out alone together, then it is possible.

In relationships, it does not require two hands to clap. One party can easily develop feelings for the other person without the other person reciprocating the feeling. When that happens, complications ensue. Friendship can easily turn to animosity. It is even worse if one party is married and goes out alone with a person of the opposite sex on a friendly basis!

4. Why did Rev Quek specify a cruise in day 3, question b?

REPLY – This was the question asked on day 3 – "Do you see the sin of fornication as one of the most deadly sins in our time for the Christian? What is the best way to abstain from the sin of fornication, which includes pornography? Do you think two single Christians of opposite sex ought to go on holiday together, just the two of them, even on a cruise, and they promise that nothing will happen?"

There was no specific reason to cite the cruise.

5. A Christian wife with family discovers that her Christian husband is committing adultery and refuses to repent. What should she do?

REPLY– She should inform the pastor of the church who will be able to help if both of them are members of the congregation. The membership oath taken by the member gives the pastor the right to intervene and help.

The pastor will speak to the wife first to ascertain the facts of the case from her perspective.

Then the pastor will speak with the husband to hear what happened. Once the facts or at least a more complete picture is ascertained, and if it is true that the husband has committed adultery, then the pastor will ask him to stop, if he is truly born again in Christ. The pastor will counsel the husband to not anymore because no truly born again believer will not repent of the sin of adultery. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (KJV), "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." If he says he will stop, then he will be asked to read Psalm 51 as his prayer of repentance to God. Then the long process of reconciliation will begin for both parties including the family. More counselling sessions will ensue to facilitate repair of the broken relationship because of the sin of adultery.

6. Why do you keep focusing/mentioning the deadliness of the sin of fornication when people are more susceptible to different sins, and other sins are more prevalent and also as deadly?

REPLY– I do not focus on the deadliness of the sin of fornication unless the text in the Bible teaches it. Furthermore, this is the sin that will characterize the generation of the last days. Look at our world today! It is a world filled with fornicators and adulterers who live in sin without shame. Not only is there no shame but many regard it as a normal way of life. Jesus says that the world of the last days will be like Sodom and Gomorrah. Luke 17:28-30 (KJV), "Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; 29 But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. 30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed." What were the sins that characterized Sodom and Gomorrah? Jude 1:7 (KJV), "Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire." We are living in the last of the last days. The sins of fornication, adultery and homosexuality are so rampant today that the moral standards of old that used to characterize many societies all over the world are gone. Young couples commit sexual transgression without blinking an eyelid. Parents do not seem to care if their son or daughter brings their girl or boy friend home and they let them be alone at home without proper enforcement of strict rules to keep the sanctify of marriage which is to remain a virgin before marriage.

One of the first questions I ask during premarital counselling is whether the couple has any sins to confess such as pre-marital sex. It used to be a formality some 20 years ago. Tragically from ten years ago, it is no longer a formality. I hold my breath when the question is asked for fear of what the couple might say. If the answer is no, I am very relieved.

Yes there are many other deadly sins but do you know that of all the sins of the flesh, sexual transgression is the worst? It is the only sin whereby the sinner sins against his own body! 1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV), "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." There are the sins of pride and an unforgiving spirit. These are just as deadly but these are the sins of the heart that cannot be seen. They will be emphasized when the Bible text teaches against them. There is also the sin of gossip which was emphasized when we studied the book of James some years back.

More sins will be mentioned as we continue with the book of Ephesians.

7. Why is fornication specifically referred to as against the body, in contrast to other vices like tattoos, alcoholism, smoking where there is no mention?

REPLY– 1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV), "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." In the sin of stealing, there is the victim and the thief. One party is the sinner. The thief steals from the victim and the thief in this sense sins externally with his hands. He does not sin against his own body. However, in the case of fornication it involves two consensual parties. If it is not consensual, then it is classified as rape and not fornication. Therefore, when the sin of fornication is committed, person A sins against person B just as person B sins against person A. This applies to the sin of adultery as well. In this sense, the sin of fornication is against one’s own body! One party causes the other party to sin against his/her own body! Other sins like murder, bearing false witness and stealing do not cause the victim to sin. The victim is guiltless. In the case of fornication both are fornicators.

That is why it is such a heinous sin which is glorified in today's society as if it is a beautiful thing. Hollywood is good in making a lie into a truth and turning the truth into a lie. What is holy is sullied and what is sullied and depraved is presented as good and holy. This is our world today.

8. Is masturbation a sin?

REPLY– The Bible teaches very clearly that the only acceptable and God honouring sexual act is within the confines of marriage. All forms of sexual acts outside of marriage are transgressions. This includes the sin of masturbation. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (KJV, "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."