Elder Ko Swee Chay

Be Wise or Be Destroyed!

Proverbs 13:20 “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

Introduction

Proverbs 13:20 is most valuable in teaching us the invaluable benefits of walking with wise men. This verse also warns us of the danger and dire consequences of having companionship with fools. The former will become wise whereas the latter will be destroyed. Our friends and associates will naturally and gradually influence our lives deeply: the way we think and speak, the actions we take, the places we go to, the hobbies and entertainments we pursue, and the goals and achievements we focus our efforts on in life. The Chinese proverb says something similar to this effect: “近朱者赤近墨者黑”, which literally means “one who mixes with vermilion will turn red, one who touches pitch shall be blackened (defiled)”. Therefore, we will do well to exercise great care in understanding and choosing our friends, making sure that they are wise men and not fools. This is extremely important in today’s world which is full of attractions and temptations, and with modern advanced communication technologies and tools, the impact and influence of people around us can be very great, both positively and negatively. Beyond choosing friends, the same considerations and carefulness apply to choosing a life partner in marriage and a company for employment.

Who are the “wise men” and who are the “fools”?
The adjectives “wise” and “foolish” describe the spiritual and moral state of a person, not the person’s intellect, education qualification and IQ. His spiritual and moral state are determined by his response to the teaching of Jesus Christ (Matt 7:24-27) and the Word of God. There are many verses in the Bible describing the character, attribute and conduct of wise and good men, as well the fools and foolish men, often written in contrast to each other as can be found in the book of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. We will do well if we use God’s Word to measure and evaluate the people around us and to decide either to associate with or stay far away from them.
Some examples of what the Bible describes as “wise man” or “wise men”:
• A wise man fears the LORD as the fear of the LORD makes a person wise – “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding” (Prov 8:10). “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge...” (Prov 1:7). A wise man possesses godly wisdom, the most valuable possession of believers. He who gets godly wisdom pleases both God and men.
• “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.” (Prov 1:5)
• “A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil ...” (Prov 14:16)
• “... a wise man’s heart discerneth both time and judgement.” (Ecc 8:5)
• “The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious...” (Ecc 10:12)
• “The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright...” (Prov 15:2)
• “... a wise man, which built his house upon a rock.” (Matt 7:24)
• “Wise men lay up knowledge...” (Prov 10:14)
• “...wise men turn away wrath.” (Prov 29:8)
To sum up, this is what the Bible says about “wise people”: They have the fear of the LORD in their heart. They read, learn and hear God’s Word, and increase in the knowledge of God and understanding of spiritual things continuously. They have the ability to convey godly wisdom and give good advice to others. The fear of the LORD causes them to be humble, to have faith and confidence in God, to have a tender and teachable heart, to walk in sincere obedience to God’s Word, to depart from evil and reject the ways of sinners. The discernment in their heart causes them to know that there is a season and judgment for everything. The words that come out from their mouth are gracious and of right knowledge. They know when it is time to be silent and when not to speak. Their faith and lives are built on Christ the solid rock, a firm foundation. They turn away wrath and make peace. Wise men are a blessing for others.
Some examples of what the Bible describes as “fools”:
• Fools do not fear the LORD - “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Prov 1:7)
• “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.” (Ps 14:1, cf. Ps 53:1)
• “How long will...fools hate knowledge?” (Prov 1:22)
• “...but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.” (Prov 10:14)
• “Fools make a mock at sin...” (Prov 14:9)
• “...but the fool rageth, and is confident.” (Prov 14:16)
• “...but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” (Prov 15:2)
• “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.” (Prov 10:18)
• “It is as sport to a fool to do mischief...” (Prov 10:23)
• “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes...” (Prov 12:15)
• “... the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.” (Prov 12:23)
• “A fool hath no delight in understanding...” (Prov 18:2)
• “A fool’s lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strikes. A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.” (Prov 18:6-7)
To sum up, this is what the Bible says about the “fools”: They don’t know God and don’t have God in their heart. They are without moral insight and spiritual wisdom, rooted in practical denial of God. They are wilfully ignorant, closing their minds off from God’s wisdom and truth. They despise wisdom and instruction and hate knowledge, as God’s Word would prick their conscience and expose their foolishness, sins and evil doings. They have no understanding of spiritual things because they have no delight in understanding them. Their mouths speak foolish things and contentious words with lying tongues. They are out to do mischief and what is right in their own eyes. They mock at sin. They treat righteousness with ridicule and contempt. They are self-confident, easily upset and flare up, big-headed, proud, crafty and often a source of conflict and disunity. They are not open to counsel and are not willing to change. They are not open to rebuke and correction, thus they are unable to learn the knowledge of God and of His holy Word. The fools are pains and stumbling blocks to others.

The benefits of walking with wise men
Prov 13:20a says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise.” The word “walketh” means to converse and associate and fellowship, signifying a continual course of conduct, or a manner of living till it becomes a norm or habit. The phrase “shall be wise” means that he shall learn wisdom and goodness, both from the examples and counsel of wise men. By walking, fellowshipping and having companionship with wise men he shall become wise like them.
In what ways do wise men influence and make us wise? Answer: Wise men possess godly wisdom and are willing to share their understanding and knowledge with others and are not afraid to tell the truth. They “sharpen” us through their wise counsel, instruction, rebuke, correction and their personal life examples. They warn us of the pitfalls ahead. They lead and guide us in the path of righteousness.
Wise men shape our character and conduct: “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go; Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” (Prov 22:24-25). We will learn from people who are close to us and spend a lot time with us. When we interact with angry and furious people, we will eventually become like them – angry and furious. The converse is also true, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise.” If we want to become godly and holy, we will walk with godly and holy brothers and sisters in Christ. If we want to become loving and caring, we will walk with people who are loving and caring and with a Christ-like servant spirit. If we want to become humble, honest and truthful in all that we say and do, we will walk with people who are likewise.
Through open rebuke, wise men help us to change and improve: “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Prov 27:5-6). The constructive criticism of a wise friend who has your best interest at heart is better than those who remain silent when a rebuke is in order. The wise have the courage to point out our mistakes and sins, and help us to make apology, confession, correction, improvement to be better and wiser. “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Prov 27:17). Two friends who bring their thoughts and ideas together can openly debate, challenge and criticise, help and encourage one another to be more discerning, and to grow in wisdom, knowledge and goodness.
Though David had only a handful of good friends in his entire life, he was blessed with Jonathan as his closest friend. The friendship between David and Jonathan was based upon the common love they had in the LORD. They loved, cared for and helped each other. They desired for God’s sovereign will in each other’s lives to be fulfilled. Jonathan knew God’s will was for David to succeed his father king Saul as the next king of Israel, and willingly protected and helped David from the murderous attempts of his father, at the expense of his own interests as crown prince and relationship with his father, and despite threats to his own life. David kept to his covenantal promise made with Jonathan, and took good care of and provided for his descendants, long after Jonathan passed on.

The danger and serious consequences of being a companion of fools
Our friends and companions will influence our character and conduct in one way or another. When we are often in the company of angry and grumpy people, we will be affected and will in time become angry and grumpy. Likewise, with silly, foolish, cynical, critical, evil and crafty people. Before we realise it, we just like them. I remember the shameful experience of my two and a half years of national service (I was not a Christian at that time). Shouting “four-letter words” to each other during training and to recruits was the norm. Before I knew it, I became good at shouting a long string of about a dozen “four-letter words” at one go, the longer the better. This acquired bad habit took me some effort and almost a year to get rid of after I left NS.
The Bible puts it very plainly and simply that “a companion of fools shall be destroyed” (Prov 13:20b). The word “companion” means to associate, accompany, or entertain. The phrase “shall be destroyed” means shall be broken or face destruction and perish. The tragic stories of Lot in Genesis chapters 13,18,19 and Amnon in 2 Samuel 13 were recorded by divine writers to illustrate for our learning and warning the danger and dire consequences of having companionship with fools.
Lot, the nephew of Abraham, chose the fertile land of Jordan and lived near, and later in, Sodom, and attained some prominence in Sodom. But the Bible highlights that “the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.” (Gen 13:13). By choosing to move his family to live in Sodom among the wicked people and sinners, and to follow the way of the world instead of the way of God, Lot, his wife, daughters and sons-in-law became like the Sodomites, lovers of the world indulging in luxuries and living a sinful lifestyle without God in their lives. They deserved to be destroyed by brimstone and fire together with the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. By the mercy of the LORD, Lot and his two unmarried daughters were spared from destruction, but not the other daughters and their Sodomite husbands, and not his wife because she couldn’t bear to leave Sodom and looked back and became a pillar of salt. Lot ended up in a cave with nothing. His two surviving daughters committed incestuous acts with him. What a disaster! All because he chose to live among the fools and enjoy the things and attractions of the world. Lot’s choices of the land near Sodom and then to live in Sodom is a stern warning to us of the consequences of making wrong decisions for the family. Which is more important: physical carnal temporal advancement or spiritual eternal well-being? Is it wiser to love and follow the world or to love and follow the Word?
Amnon, the first born of king David, loved his half-sister Tamar and was so obsessed with lust for her that he became sick. Amnon had a friend called Jonadab, who was his cousin, described in the Bible as “a very subtil man”, meaning a cunning and crafty person. Jonadab suggested to Amnon an evil plan to deceive his father king David and trap Tamar to come to him. Amnon ended up raping her, and then hated, despised and banished her. He ruined his sister’s life. Two years later, Amnon was murdered by his half-brother Absalom, king David’s third son, to take revenge for his sister Tamar. The friendship between Amnon and Jonadab is a warning about having wisdom to choose the right kind of friends. Instead of helping to stop Amnon’s lust for Tamar, Jonadab offered an evil plan for Amnon to satisfy his sinful lust. Amnon committed the sins of deception and fornication, and paid with his life because of his companionship with a fool.
Psalm 1:1 proclaims, “BLESSED is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” This is wonderful wise counsel by the Psalmist to all born again Christians, prohibiting companionship with fools and following their way – the end is destruction!
Our Lord Jesus Christ gave one interesting warning to the fools regarding the accumulation of treasure (wealth). “But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou has provided?” (Luke 12:20). “... the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.” (Prov 1:32). Beware of the consequences of covetousness and laying up treasure for ourselves, if all that we do is “eat, drink and be merry” (Luke 12:19), and are “not rich toward God” (Luke 12:21).

Our reasonable response
We ought to be very careful in the choice of our friends and what company we keep.
Identify the wise and spiritually mature men and women around us. The safest place to find them is within the church. Join the fellowship group of your age group to meet and have fellowship with wise men and ladies. They will help you to grow spiritually and get godly wisdom.
Identify people in the schools and workplace who are fools, avoid them and even stay far away from them and have nothing to do with them. The book of Proverbs again gives many pertinent counsels:
• “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.” (Prov 4:14).
• “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.” (Prov 14:7)
• “Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.” (Prov 23:9)
• “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” (Prov 22:24-25)
Parents with young children and teens, please take note that your children are not wise enough to choose their own friends, so you must help and guide them and monitor their relationships to protect them. Similarly, young people of marriageable age, pray for wisdom to choose your life partner, be patient and wait upon the direction and will of the Lord. A hasty and unprayerful choice can become a life-long mistake and there is no turning back. Also, be wise and careful in the type of company or organisation you work in. If you find that the business activities involve immoral or unethical practices, and that the character and conduct of many of your colleagues and superiors are like that of “fools”, you might want to seriously consider looking for another place of work, for your own good and protection.

Conclusion
There is great wisdom and deep meaning in Proverbs 13:20: “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” We are the company we keep. Those who are wise will help shape and improve our character and conduct, to grow in wisdom and in the knowledge of God. On the other hand, the companion of fools will walk in the way that will surely lead to many snares and destruction. Let us be mindful and wise to take heed of the Psalmist’s counsel: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” We must be very cautious regarding the company we keep. We must stay far away from or even cut off ties with the fools to protect ourselves from ungodly influences and destruction. We must seek companionship with the wise, and be humble to receive their counsel, instruction, advice, rebuke and correction, to become wiser and to grow in faith and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and to live God-honouring holy and godly lives. AMEN.