Pr Joshua Yong

To be married and to be single are both good because they are both of the Lord. In 1 Corinthians 7, Apostle Paul showed how being married and being single are callings from God. Yet as Paul addressed the ones who are single, he said that there is an advantage to being single over being married.

It must be stated that being single is not automatically better than being married. If a believer chooses to be single for selfish reasons, e.g. so that he may earn more money, or he may pursue his own hobbies, then it cannot be said of him that to be single is better.

There are specific reasons why singlehood is better than being married. These are some reasons Paul delineated in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:

1) The Single Cares for the Better Things (v.32-33)

The Lord does not want us to be full of cares – “But I would have you without carefulness” (v.32). The phrase “without carefulness” literally means “to be free from cares.” This word “cares” is used five times in this passage and it is a word that describes a person who is “being anxious” about something. It comes from the word “to divide” and it describes how a person is divided and pulled in different directions.

For the believer who is married, the Bible says that he “careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife” (v.33). This is not necessarily a sinful or bad thing. The married man seeks to please the Lord, but he has to please the Lord by fulfilling his calling and responsibility in the home where he also pleases his wife.

There are responsibilities that the married man has to be concerned with in the home. These responsibilities take up his time and his energy. He has to care for the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of his family as every godly husband must do. If his child is very sick, he will have to take him to the doctor. When he and the family want to go on a holiday, he will have to consider the physical needs of the family and plan with the family in mind. These parental responsibilities in marriage are good. Providing for the needs of the family with much prayer, and seeking and trusting the Lord to protect the family will help him mature in Christ. He undertakes these responsibilities joyfully, allowing him to experience the sufficiency of God’s grace and provision in his life. As he seeks God’s kingdom first in the family, he experiences the faithfulness of the Lord.

But for the believer who is single, it is even better. He does not have to worry about wife-and-children responsibilities. He is able to focus his thoughts, time and energy wholly on the things of the Lord. The Bible says, “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord” (v.32).

When he considers serving in various ministries or areas of service, he thinks only about God’s leading and calling for him. He gives his undivided attention to the work of the Lord. Paul’s status of singlehood is a good example of how a person can care for the things that belong to the Lord and please the Lord correctly. When Paul went on his three missionary journeys, he went wherever the Holy Spirit led. He didn’t have to worry about the needs of a wife or of children. Paul suffered a lot of hardships in his missionary journeys – he suffered shipwreck, was bitten by a snake, was beaten and persecuted, and he suffered imprisonment. If he had to care for the needs of a family, it would have been impossible to do the work he did. This is why while being married is good, being single is better.

2) The Single is Better in Holiness (v.34)

The Apostle Paul also explained that for women believers, the same principle applies. The Bible says in verse 34, “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” For the unmarried woman, she has fewer distractions as she seeks to live a holy and pleasing life unto the Lord.

The unmarried woman is able to be holy in body and in spirit. This means that she can focus on the things of God in the pursuit of holiness in both body and spirit. “In body and in spirit” tells us that it is her entire person.

For the married woman, in the family, she is still able to pursue holiness. The family grows together in holiness. This is a blessing. Parents are able to experience both the heartaches and joys of growing together in sanctification. Families attend Bible studies and family camps together that they may study God’s Word and seek the Lord as one. In the family, there are opportunities to see the family grow as parents mature with their children. While there are struggles and heartaches, there are also precious memories and blessings. The married woman seeks the Lord in personal devotion, in the reading of the Bible and in prayer to grow spiritually and have God’s wisdom as she handles the demands of family life.

These things are good, but it is better for the single woman simply because she has more time and energy to study the Word of God and to pray. When she attends Bible studies, she is able to concentrate and give her full attention and time in the study of God’s Word. The single woman is able to give her undivided attention in growing spiritually and in her use of her spiritual gifts.

3) The Single is Better in Attendance (v.35)

In concluding his exhortation, Paul wrote, “And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction” (v.35). These things were written for our benefit and it is not to restrict any of us. These exhortations are for that which is “comely”. This word describes that which is “respected” and “honourable.” Those who are called to be single must realise how beneficial, respectable and honourable it is. Marriage is honourable because it has been instituted of the Lord. But singlehood is also honourable.

While families can and should serve the Lord together, there will always be limitations that families face. They will not have the same freedom to move around or travel to the mission fields, especially in times of persecution.  But for believers who are single, they do not face these limitations. They can attend to the things of God with undivided focus and attention. To be married and to be single are callings from God; but while it is good to be married, it is better to be single.