My dear readers,

1. The tie that should bless! (Prov 27:15-16)

There are a number of such warnings and we need them all. The devil’s attack on marriage and family is ruthless and devilishly successful!

The Trap! (Prov 27:15): In Proverbs 19:13, Solomon says,"…the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping." He goes farther here in Proverbs 27:15. He tells us that such a wife is like a "continual dropping in a very rainy day." It is raining outside, but also within; and there lies the trap! The man cannot go out and not get wet, but if he stays at home, there is rain within! The rain outside only soaks the skin, but the rain at home breaks the spirit. Such a man may encounter contentions in his workplace, but these may be left behind when he enters his home to a loving wife and family. Is not this storm within the most pitiful? Where there is contention, without and within, both husband and wife are caught in a trap, no matter how fine the house or the trappings.

The Torment! (Prov 27:16): Its torment is that there is no covering it. A wise man would hide it if he could for the sake of his own and his wife’s reputation, but he cannot, any more than he can mask the sound of the wind or conceal oil in his fist. Wind and oil call out: "Here we are!" The fragrance of the oil, like a perfume, when held in the hand, betrays its presence all the more. So this contentious woman can never be tied down! Brawlers proclaim their own shame, even when their friends, in kindness to them, would cover it. The only remedy is to keep well out of their way till the storm is over (Prov 21:9, 19).

The Triangle! "Successful marriage is a triangle: a man, a woman, and God" (Myers). Without love, marriage is questionable,but lovemust not be blind. True love is the gift of divine grace (1 Pet 3:7b). Where love like that reigns supreme, the married life will be joyful and fulfilling, whether in wealth or in poverty.

2. The marriage relationship (Mark 10:1-12)

"Till death us do part." This is a most sacred vow taken at the time of marriage before God and before many witnesses. I have no doubt Christian couples take their vows seriously and intend that they will do their utmost to preserve their union. Marriage is instituted by divine ordinance. In the beginning, God created one male and one female. They are to live together in intimate harmony, described by Jesus as: "… they twain shall be one flesh…" (Mark 10:8). The marriage relationship is the most tender and endearing of all human relations, more tender than even the bond which unites us to a parent. Jesus, quoting Genesis 2:24, emphasizes that the husband and wife relationship is to be more endearing than their relationship with their parents to the extent of living apart from them: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife" (Mark 10:7). We must note that mar­riage is a life partnership, only physically to be separated by death. Jesus places divine sanction and protection over it when He says, "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder" (Mark 10:9).

Grounds for Divorce

The Pharisees have come to trap Jesus, to force Him to make state­ments with which they may accuse Him. They ask Him concerning His position on divorce. If He says it is lawful, He would be guilty of sanctioning low morality. If He says it is not lawful, then He would be going against the authority of Moses. The Lord’s answer is clear and authoritative. Marriage is indissoluble. There are no grounds for divorce. Whoever enters into a divorce and marries again commits adultery. The initiative may come from either husband or wife (Mark 10:11–12). Today, there are ever so many marriages of convenience, trial marriages and free love. These are sinful practices and Jesus condemns them as "the hardness of your heart" (Mark 10:5). Moses allows divorce only because it is the lesser of two evils. However, Barnes explains that the process of divorcement would allow the couple to sit down before a scribe to de­liberate and to reconsider their position. They may be persuaded then to be reconciled.

"And forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live."

3. Ten Commandments for a happy Christian marriage

1. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers"(2 Cor 6:14). This is the first rule in the choice of a life partner for a blessed union in the Lord.

2. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands ... Husbands, love your wives" (Eph 5:22-25). This is God’s way to a happy home.

3. Renew your "first love" before God often. "We love him, because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19).

4. Hide no secrets: Husband and wife are "one flesh" (Gen 2:24). Be clear and transparent before God.

5. "For richer for poorer" - what does it matter? More or less, all come from God the Giver. Best to operate one bank account.

6. Read God’s Word and pray together, morning and evening. And "…be ye doers of the Word, and not (readers)only" (James 1:22).

7. In dealing with children, be united and fair, always. Children observe more than you think.

8. Abstain from favouritism. It is the root of envy and contention. Remember Jacob?

9. In any disagreement, be ready to say sorry, "let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Eph 4:26).

10. "Honour thy father and thy mother…" (Exod 20:12) means double blessing to you. Never neglect parents: repay their love while you can!

Lord, help me to be faithful in my marriage.

God bless all readers.

Yours faithfully in the Saviour’s Service,

Dr SH Tow, Sr Pastor