My dear readers,

1a What does it mean to “make an enemy” in Question # 2? Does it mean we cut off all ties with our children and parents? How should we interact with them, and how should we view them?

{Question # 2 – “Would you make an enemy of your children or your parents for the sake of Christ? Support your answer with Bible verses.”} 

The phrase “to make an enemy” means “to regard the person as one who desires to hurt.” In the context of the messages, he would desire to hurt the believer’s relationship with Christ by causing him to sin by disobeying God’s Word in favour of him. The answer has to be a resounding yes. This truth is a clear teaching from the Bible to be obeyed if we desire to call ourselves Christians. Jesus was not interested in anyone who followed Him for the wrong reasons, such as experiencing His miracles of healing or eating free food. He taught all who followed Him this truth in Luke 14:25-35 “And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, 26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. 27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? 29 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, 30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. 31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? 32 Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace. 33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple. 34 Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be seasoned? 35 It is neither fit for the land, nor yet for the dunghill; but men cast it out. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.”

Jesus knew that those who would challenge His disciples’ devotion, obedience and love for Him would be the ones dearest to them on earth. He taught them that, in comparing, they must have a large chasm between their love for their family, including their own lives, and their love for God and Christ. That chasm must be like hatred. The biblical reason is that God’s love is a gift from heaven. It is the love for God, the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth. All our loved ones on earth, including our lives, are of this earth, earthly. To love our loved ones and ourselves more than God is to make our loved ones and ourselves equal and greater than God; they would become idols, i.e. false gods. That is why the love of God must be so supreme that it must never be compared to any other kind of love. The only way to teach us to never compare is to place a huge chasm such as hate between God's love and man’s love! When the time comes, and it will come, that loved ones will decide to sin against God, and believers have to make a choice to obey God or man, then they must choose to obey God, even if it means the death of the relationship with loved ones.

For example, what if a loved one decides to sin against God, such as confessing to be an unbeliever or attends an ecumenical church, which the believer knows will become the harlot church of the Antichrist in the foreseeable future? The believer must rebuke this person and cut him off from his spiritual life. He can still invite him to Chinese New Year reunion dinners, birthday parties, or any other family gatherings, but there is no longer any spiritual relationship or fellowship. The biblical reason is for the loved one’s good, to help him realise that he is living in sin. If the believer who is God’s child and a representative of Christ takes his side, it will imply that God and Christ approve his sinful behaviour. This will result in a great sin toward our loved ones who are heading toward hell in their disobedience, or in destroying the holy witness of the believer through his association, thus stumbling many sinners and believers. 

In Old Testament times, the seriousness of the judgment was clearly taught by God in the Law of Moses in Deuteronomy 13:6-11 “If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; 7 Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; 8 Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: 9 But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. 10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. 11 And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is among you.”

The believer who compromises as a Christian because he desires to enjoy a short season of peace with his loved ones on earth is thinking carnally, and fails to think eternally and that his compromise is preventing them from being saved from condemnation.

How can this be called love? God’s love thinks in terms of eternity for our loved ones.

1b  “for the sake of Christ”: under what situation does this refer to? How do we reconcile this with a varying rate of spiritual understanding and with giving the person the time and space to grow? 

The time given to a person to change depends on the nature of the sin committed. If it is idolatry, the time to change is the person’s lifetime, i.e. until he dies. If it is carnality, for the professing believer who used to be fervent and zealous for the Lord in his younger days and now has grown wayward, then it will be as long as he continues to love the world. Believers must never stop reminding him to stop sinning and to return to the Lord. Prayer must be uttered before God on his behalf in all situations. If the transgression is consistency in keeping his Quiet Time, patience in the form of letting the Lord deal with the professing believer is crucial. Keep encouraging him not to give up and to keep doing so for the rest of his life, as this is a common struggle for all believers. If the sin is any kind of vice, long-suffering from the believer is needed, especially when he sees the transgressor struggling and failing. Constant encouragement with firmness is biblical counsel, and it is very important not to give up on him. If there is no attempt to stop the vice but a blatant disregard of the biblical counsel, then a time for separation is required to let him understand his serious state, for he is shaming the holy Name of Christ with impunity.

The issue of “make an enemy” of a loved one is not to be applied lightly, but with much prayer and careful biblical consideration and basis. The glory of God and the salvation of the sinner are always at stake when believers make a serious judgment.

Yours faithfully in the Saviour’s Service

                                                                                      Rev Dr Quek Suan Yew, Pastor